Semarang State
University
Semarang State University (SSU) is a
state university located in the capital city of Central Java province.
According to the data of the Ministry of Education and Culture, SSU has been
awarded as the 4th most favorite university in Indonesia this year.
SSU has eight faculties: Education (FIP), Languages and Arts (FBS), Social
Sciences (FIS), Mathematics and Science (FMIPA), Engineering (FT), Sport
Science (FIK), Economics (FE), and Law (FH). The student body in SSU is around
40.000 this year.
SSU is well-known as Conservation University. SSU is the
first university in Indonesia that declared itself as Conservation University.
SSU not allowed any motorbike or car in campus area, so we can comfortably
study without the disturbing voice and pollution because of vehicle. SSU is
also well-known as green campus as we can see there are trees around the campus
area. SSU obligated the students to plant a tree as the pre requirement before
they graduated.
SSU has a pond in the center of the campus. It is often
utilized by students for studying in a group, or just relaxed enjoying the fresh
air. Overall, there will never be a better place than SSU to study.
Dear Rozin,
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your paragraph. It clearly describes about our adored campus. It is easy to understand your paragraph. However, you need to fix some of the points that you had written above.
• The use of pronouns – SSU can actually be replaced with the pronoun ‘it’. This is also to avoid repetition. For example: SSU is well-known as Conservation University = It is well-known as Conservation University.
• In the sentence "SSU not allowed any motorbike or car in campus area" should be "SSU didn't allow any motorbike or car in the campus area"
• The word "pond" should be "lake" because the pond is refers to a smaller bodies of water that could penetrate light to the bottom.
Overall, I think you could develop your writing skills by look at those informations.
Hai Rozin,
ReplyDeleteI like your writing. your blog design is wonderful also. But I think there are some points you have to recheck.
1. Using word "sound" compare with "voice". I think word "voice" is for living things.
2. Maybe you would better to use pronoun "It" refers to "SSU" to reduce redundancy
3. The sentence "SSU not allowed any motorbike or car in campus area, so we can comfortably study without the disturbing voice and pollution because of vehicle." is too long. I suggest you to make it shorter.
I hope your writing skill will improve soon.